The Unexpected

Today I'm not writing about cycling or training. Not writing about my health. Not writing about my work or my life or my dogs. Not writing about me at all (well, not much). No, today I'm writing something unexpected. A story about a former love of mine. A story about an ex-girlfriend (see, I told you it was unexpected). A story about a beautiful woman. And about the inspiration she provides.

Twenty-two years ago, I was in college. Attending classes from 8 a.m. 'til 2  p.m., sleeping from 2:30 p.m. 'til 10:30 p.m. Working from 11 p.m. 'til 7 a.m. Due to this schedule, I obviously had no time for a social life which is why it was at work that I met her. Holly.

Holly Jo.

It was Texas. Middle names were required.

I don't remember exactly when Holly started working at the Stop N Go or how we came to be friends. But I do know we must have become friends first because she had a boyfriend when we first met. To this day, I remember that - probably because he was a total ass. One of those idiots you encounter in life that is such a douche, you never forget them. My first real memory of Holly is walking her to her door after we'd been out drinking with some friends - and after she dumped the douche. I don't remember who we'd been with earlier or even where we'd been. I don't remember pulling the car into the guest parking spot in her apartment complex. I don't even remember walking from the car to the stairs leading up to that door. My memory starts on those stairs - climbing up all twelve of them under the glow of the porch light, saying goodnight, then kissing her for the first time.

Holly Jo - the Aqua Net days.

Not only does my memory of her start at that moment; our relationship started there too. And as that relationship grew, I came to learn much about her. To a casual bystander, her life seemed pretty damned good. She was a beautiful girl. Tall. Blonde. Sparkling blue eyes. And a body... well, let's just say lust may have come before love. She came from a traditional middle-class family. Her father worked for NASA on the Apollo missions. I was in awe of him for that reason alone - you should've seen some of the memorabilia he had in their home! Her mother - hmmm, was she a housewife? Maybe a teacher? Piano instructor? Not sure exactly - but, like I said, traditional family.

But Holly was anything but traditional. During those years she was a little rebellious (okay, maybe that's pretty traditional for a young woman in her late teens). She wasn't a conformist - and although she may have looked the part, there was no head cheerleader, prom queen crap for her. She drove a muscle car. A Mercury Cougar - maybe 1967? 1969? It was fierce! Until she wrecked it and got a Datsun 280Z. Another fine piece of machinery. She partied, she smoked, she loved adventure. And I think that adventurous spirit is what made me fall in love.

And the life that surrounded her wasn't "traditional" either. Holly was adopted when she was an infant and that may have brought her to deal with the "what-if's" of her biological parents. She was also born with congenital heart disease and had her first open-heart surgeries at the age of two. Like many teens, she battled the dark issues of self-image and self-worth. In getting to know her, I learned that being blonde & beautiful & living in an "enviable" family environment wasn't always a door to popularity, happiness & success - it could also open the door to teasing, bullying, and plenty of "dumb blonde" jokes. And, trust me, Holly was far from dumb.

Those little white holes in my ears and
mouth - well let's just say after we broke
up, Holly used some thumbtacks on this
photo in some bizarre voodoo ritual.

She and I - wow, we had great times. So many memories of laughter and friends and adventures and intimacy. But, even though we were young, it was the real world, not some romantic comedy, and the bad sandwiched itself in with the good. I was late for her graduation because I was hit by a car while turning into the florist's parking lot to buy her roses. The roommates she lived with were hateful & violent toward her. There was the time I went away for a few weeks and our relationship was severely tested. More than once, I held her when she cried and let out whatever pain she held inside. And, of course, there were the weeks we didn't speak to each other after we broke up.

But the good did outweigh the bad. Almost all of my memories with her are good. Warm, humid nights on her patio, just talking. Going to the beach in Galveston and being so proud of this woman on my arm. Hanging with Jen & Joel & Sally. That trendy braided leather belt she gave me as a gift and the tiny fish tank I gave her. Making out in that Datsun. Miller High Life, Miller Lite & Miller Genuine Draft (why did we always keep all three stocked?). Having nothing to do on a Saturday so purchasing last-minute tickets to St. Louis to introduce her to my parents. The Today Sponge contraceptive - we called them Smurf Knee Pads - man, if you think the Seinfeld "Sponge" episode was funny, ask me about our little Sponge story sometime... Hilarious! The day when she was stocking the shelves at work and, while working the register, I climbed up on the counter and belted out Elton John's "Your Song" to her; off-key, of course. Then there was my mullet and her perm.

Those last two might not have been "good" but they were sure as hell funny!

See - they WERE Smurf Knee Pads!

As they say, all good things must come to an end. We did split up. After a short period of animosity, we became close friends. Then a year later I moved to the west coast and we lost touch. For you younger readers, those were not only days of mullets & perms, they were the time of 25-cent-per-minute long distance phone charges and computers that were nothing more than glorified typewriters. We hadn't been introduced to the internet and Facebook would've sounded like something from a comedic sci-fi novel to us. But years later, those two things brought us together again. On September 17, 2010, Holly accepted my friend request on Facebook. Almost two decades had passed and we had a lot of catching up to do.

Proof that perms & mullets did exist!

So we did. Endless emails. Hours on the phone. Long Skype chats. And those things are the foundation of this story. You see, that girl I once knew who endured countless "blonde" jokes, who struggled with her relationship with her parents & her relationships with men, who questioned herself time and again - well that girl was gone. Now I was coming to know a stronger woman. A woman going back to college in her late thirties to pursue her dreams of journalism. She achieved good grades and, even more, lived her dream by working as a reporter for a newspaper. She had found great love and support from her family. That rebellious girl had found her faith in God again and the peace it brought to her life. After struggling through her years as a single parent, she also found joy in her relationship with her daughter (who, by the way, was as rebellious a teen as Holly had been). This woman now saw the beauty she held inside & out; the beauty I had seen in that girl all those years ago.

More than our memories of our time together in Texas, we came to realize another bond in our adult lives. After many, many years of wonderful health, Holly nearly died from her heart problems ten years ago. More open-heart surgeries. More close calls. More fear. The loss of friends who couldn't (or wouldn't) support her in her time of need. I think that shared understanding of mortality, the value of life, and the hard lessons of false friendships deepened our renewed relationship. Her story also reminds me of the strength we all have inside. Of how we can overcome even the greatest challenges. Of how, no matter what may be overwhelming us, we can find the positive in our experience and the light of life.

Today, Holly and I are still friends. And sometimes when I'm on that bike and feel I can't push myself any harder, I think of her. And somehow - incredibly - my legs get stronger, my breathing gets easier, and a smile crosses my face as I find confidence in myself during my weakest moment. Thank you for the unexpected inspiration, beautiful. I will always love you.

Follow Holly (and cheer her on like she does for me) in her current adventures at the University of Texas, Arlington: http://uta-venturousity.blogspot.com/ and http://twitter.com/HollyJoWard