After last night's post, not only did I promise something more lighthearted but my friend Jon made a personal plea for, "More funny AIDS!"
AIDS. Funny? Shit! I'm in trouble.
Maybe he meant something like, "Well, at least if I get syphilis now it won't seem like such a big deal."
No, that's not funny.
Wait...wait... what about....
 |
| Stop right there... it's time for "The Talk." |
A fourth-grade boy returns home after HIV Awareness Day at school.
When his mother asks him what he learned that day he replies, "I'm not sure but I think I'm s'posed to avoid intersections and buy a lot of condominiums."
Cute? Aw, c'mon - of course it is! A fourth grader? Condominums?
Argh... tough audience! Let's hit the other end of the age spectrum...
An older man consults with his wife's doctor after an exam. The doc says, "I'm not sure what's wrong with her.... but I've narrowed it down...it's either Alzheimer's or AIDS."
The man says, "AIDS or Alzheimer's - what tests do you have to be sure which one it is?"
"Well, drop her off across town and if she finds her way home, don't f*%# her."
Too dirty?
Let's try a political joke...
If a wife finds out about her husband's infidelity, she might worry about getting AIDS from sex.
Hillary, on the other hand, had to worry about her husband getting sex from aides.
Falls flat? Damn, politics is always a touchy subject.
Maybe we should go down the "benefits of using protection" path...
There's not much difference between having a baby and having AIDS. I mean, they're both expensive, you have them for the rest of your life, and they're a constant reminder of the mistakes you've made.
Plus, once you have them you can pretty much only date others who have them too.
Ugh. I told you this was tough. How about putting it in perspective:
Back in the 70's, if a doctor told someone they had herpes, the patient broke down and cried.
Nowadays, they shout out, "THANK GOD THAT'S ALL!"
Screw it...
let's try something in even worse taste....
Some douchebag strikes gold when he finds a willing girl in the hippest singles bar in town. After a passionate night of playing "hide the sausage," they fall asleep in each others arms.
The next morning, he walks up to her as she's cooking some eggs & bacon for them. A little worried about the previous night's spontaneity, he says, "By the way, I didn't ask you if you have AIDS."
She assures him she does not have HIV or AIDS.
He breathes a huge sigh of relief, "Whew! I'd hate to catch that again!"
People, we all know HIV & AIDS isn't funny. But those of us who live with it do what everyone in life does when faced with challenges. We find the humor in it. 'Cuz, y'know, laughter is the best medicine, eh?
If you know a funny joke about anything, leave it in the comments section because we all need a good laugh now and again!
(p.s. I do not own the rights or privileges to any of these jokes or images. I also do not own you so, if you find yourself offended by any of the above, well, just be glad you don't have a 'fro like that guy up there!)
Too dirty?
 |
| You go girl! SMOKE that CIGAR! |
Let's try a political joke...
If a wife finds out about her husband's infidelity, she might worry about getting AIDS from sex.
Hillary, on the other hand, had to worry about her husband getting sex from aides.
 |
| Not only aspirin... saves on antivirals too! |
Falls flat? Damn, politics is always a touchy subject.
Maybe we should go down the "benefits of using protection" path...
There's not much difference between having a baby and having AIDS. I mean, they're both expensive, you have them for the rest of your life, and they're a constant reminder of the mistakes you've made.
Plus, once you have them you can pretty much only date others who have them too.
 |
| And when he stripped off his clothes, she said, "Oh my God, THAT'S ALL?!?!" |
Ugh. I told you this was tough. How about putting it in perspective:
Back in the 70's, if a doctor told someone they had herpes, the patient broke down and cried.
Nowadays, they shout out, "THANK GOD THAT'S ALL!"
Screw it...
let's try something in even worse taste....
 |
| I don't even wanna know what they did with those fingers last night. |
Some douchebag strikes gold when he finds a willing girl in the hippest singles bar in town. After a passionate night of playing "hide the sausage," they fall asleep in each others arms.
The next morning, he walks up to her as she's cooking some eggs & bacon for them. A little worried about the previous night's spontaneity, he says, "By the way, I didn't ask you if you have AIDS."
She assures him she does not have HIV or AIDS.
He breathes a huge sigh of relief, "Whew! I'd hate to catch that again!"
People, we all know HIV & AIDS isn't funny. But those of us who live with it do what everyone in life does when faced with challenges. We find the humor in it. 'Cuz, y'know, laughter is the best medicine, eh?
If you know a funny joke about anything, leave it in the comments section because we all need a good laugh now and again!
(p.s. I do not own the rights or privileges to any of these jokes or images. I also do not own you so, if you find yourself offended by any of the above, well, just be glad you don't have a 'fro like that guy up there!)
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