About Life, Beauty and Love

Have you been wondering why there hasn't been a 3,000 word post describing my ride in full detail? Curious as to why I've been home for three weeks and haven't written a single word on this page? Been jonesing for some jimagery blogness in your life?

Well, the answer's quite simple. My writing time has been dedicated to some magazine articles. And they come with deadlines. And word counts. And have to by stylized in a much different way than what I write here. Unfortunately, when writing for mass consumption, I can't just shit it out and hope no one cares. And I figured I'd just share those articles with you once they're published and didn't want to duplicate my efforts here.

But today I'm taking a short break from that. I'll be returning to it later but had to write under my own terms and in my own way for a bit. Since I'm writing about the ride in broad strokes for these publications, I wanted to give you something different right now. Something about life on the road. Beauty rolling right in front of you - or sometimes passing on your left - during the ride. A love created in a community born through making a difference.

Prior to the ride - during my training & travels - I was introduced to this aspect of the event. Might have even written about it once or twice. The community that is born of AIDS/LifeCycle. Even just cycling or fitness in general. It starts simply I suppose. Like last weekend when I was riding and cyclists on the other side of the road would wave. Happened on my route on Thursday when a jogger on the sidewalk did the same. We don't often see that in our day-to-day lives. Yes, maybe we say, "Good morning," to our neighbors. But they're not total strangers. We see them regularly. Maybe even invite them over for to sit on the patio sometimes. What about strangers on the street or the bus? I find it rare that people say hello these days. Think about Starbucks. The barista says, "How are you today?" and often the reply is, "I'll take a skinny, decaf mocha."

During the ALC event, this friendliness is amplified. Something to do with working toward a common goal. Sharing a common struggle. Setting up a tent twelve inches from your neighbors. The understanding that it's up to us to watch out for each other. Here are some of my experiences and the people behind them.

Jose, Jonathan, Fabian, Erik & Matt

While waiting to board my flight in LA, I saw two guys walking up to the gate and one was carrying a bike helmet. When they passed by me, I looked up and said, "Are you riding?" They were. And we chatted. While waiting. Then again in line. Then I saved seats for them and on the plane and the conversation continued to San Francisco. Then kept going as we took BART into the city together. Although I didn't ride with them at all during the week, we'd continue our hello's whenever we'd bump into each other during the event. Turns out they did know some of my teammates though and spent plenty of time riding with them.

Loren with their two beautiful children.

Like most teams, our team didn't ride together as a whole during the event. There were a couple of mini-groups within our team that did but mostly, due to different sleep schedules and cycling paces, we integrated with the entire ALC community. For me that started on Day One since I was part of the Opening Ceremonies. Although I saw some of them in the crowd, once they released us to the starting line, there was no way I was going to find my teammates. As excited as I was, I also felt a little lost in the crowd. Here I was setting off on the biggest adventure of my life and had no one I knew beside me. Then a voice called my name and when I looked it was my friend Loren. His husband, Eric, was a Roadie and my tentmate. Loren had dropped us off for the ceremonies and stayed to watch. As luck would have it, when I took my position at the starting line I landed in a spot right next to where he was watching the cyclists ride out. He asked if he could take a picture... which he did. And when he lowered the camera from his face, I saw tears streaming down. Then I started sobbing. As we shared a long, deep hug across the barricade he wished me luck and I told him I loved him. Thank you for being there Loren.

Mel, Kerry & Ken (Chicken Lady) at the starting line.
(Take a close look at the top right corner... the day was full of emotion)

Starting to wipe away tears and still waiting to leave, I hear another call from the crowd. I turn to see my Cyclist Rep Kerry and her partner Melinda. First, let me say, these two helped me through so much these past months and we've shared so many experiences, including our Wild West Weekend trip. Whenever I reached out to one of them, they were there to help guide me in leading my team. And here they were, reaching out to me at the start. More tears. More hugs. Then Kerry said, "You did this. 14.2 million dollars." The last words I heard as I set off on my journey were how we as community achieved greatness. That gave me strength. And brought a huge smile. Then later in the day, I saw Kerry had posted a photo of me from that moment and the caption read, "My Hero." Just like you are two of mine. Thank you Kerry & Mel. For everything.

Look at that smile... just makes ya wanna hug him!

Tears were gone by the time I started rolling. And, again, as chance would have it, I wasn't meant to ride out alone. Within minutes of starting, we were stopped at a light (those first six miles were a little chaotic and, being in the city, there were plenty of stop signs & lights). That's where I found myself next to my teammate Paul. He was the only veteran rider on our team and I can't tell you how grateful we all were to have him. His Tuesday Tips kept us informed and help prepare us for the event. If we had a question, he had an answer. Even from San Francisco, he participated fully in the conversation on our team page and was always there to help us get through whatever it was we were going through. And here I was lucky enough to ride with him and chat during those first few miles of the event. My anxiety about the ride was completely gone now. I wasn't alone and knew I wouldn't be for the next seven days. Paul if I haven't told you, I appreciate you. More than you know.



Somewhere in those first miles of the ride, I got my first ALC crush. Okay, not my first since that had happened during training. But my first during the week of the event. Not exactly sure when Jorge and I were first introduced. I think it was on the road before the first water stop. At the water stop I asked if he'd take a picture of me and Eric, and he obliged. We rode together for a bit, but I broke away at some point. Then at San Gregorio Beach, I returned to the water bottle I had set down and there he was with his friends. He introduced me to his riding buddies, Keith & Jaime. Great guys all around. But of course they are... they're from Chicago. Had a great lunch chat and, throughout the week, I got to spend some quality time with them on the road, at rest stops or in camp. Even did a little skinny dipping together. That little moment... that first day at lunch... introduced me to the joys and wonders of community and friendship and little crushes that would follow me throughout the week.

Photo op with Fergus - Day 4, Rest Stop 1.
Just before the Evil Twins.

I can't write about the ride - and even the days leading up to it - without mentioning Fergus. A few months ago I received a donation from someone I didn't know. I later found he'd read an article about me and the ride and it motivated him to make a donation in my name. I sent out my thank you email and soon found he was riding as well. Yes, another rider donated to me. It happens more often than you think. And he donated to others as well, especially in those weeks leading up to the event when I was trying to help other riders reach their minimum. He stepped up then too and helped ensure no rider was left behind. I saw Fergus often during the ride. Actually met him face-to-face for the first time on Orientation Day as we were waiting in that long ass line, heh! What an inspiration. With everything that I went through in training and preparation, it was nothing compared to this guy who lives in Hong Kong. If I felt alone out here in the desert, just imagine what he felt training for the ride on the other side of an ocean. My trek from Las Vegas to San Francisco to set off on the ride pales in comparison to his journey to be a hero in the ALC community. Fergus' strength & commitment to the cause inspired me throughout this adventure. Thankfully, we'd bump into each other here or there during the week and share a Clif Bar or take a photo together. Another of the amazing people I discovered on this journey. Fergus, thank you for crossing an ocean in the fight against HIV/AIDS. And thank you for being a friend.

Speaking of crossing oceans - and of ALC crushes - there's one group that comes right to mind. Team Swiss. If there were a "Friendliest Team Award" during the ride, this group would be in the running. Met them early on - not exactly sure when - but if I saw them in my line of sight during the week I refused to pass up a chance to say hello. Never saw these guys (and girl) without smiles on their faces. They had an energy that's indescribable. Accepted everyone into their circle. Embraced the LifeCycle community in an unbelievable way. Some of my best memories during the ride were moments spent laughing and chatting with them. As for inspiration - toward the end of the ride I discovered one of them (Francesco, I think) had actually sold his car to purchase a bike for the ride. That's commitment. That's AIDS/LifeCycle. Hope to see all of you next year - and maybe then I'll tell you which one(s) I have a crush on!




While I'm on the topic of riders from overseas, I gotta give a shout out to Kirstie. Met her Day Two at Rest Stop Two. She shared the inflatable dragon float with me (our bums needed some comfort by then!). Cute girl. Smart girl. Friendly girl. Funny girl. Another who I never rode with but kept me company throughout the week. Little chats at rest stops, a Barbie photo op at the Mission. She hails from Cambridge, lived in Berkeley for her graduate studies, and even after moving back to England has continued her commitment to ALC. Love your smile, kiddo. And miss seeing you on the road.

Day 6, loading up gear with Adam & Justin (and a banana)

And, as this blog seems to be getting longer than a bill before Congress, let's wrap up the topic of ALC crushes too. On our first day in camp, as Eric and I were setting up our tent, I noticed a couple of guys doing the same across the way. Good looking guys. And obviously having a blast from what I saw of their antics. At some point I introduced myself and found that one of them, Adam, was our tent neighbor and the other, Justin, a friend of his was camping elsewhere. Didn't really see them much outside of camp. They probably left earlier than me (I was always slow to start in the mornings... I like my coffee time). But their friendliness struck me the first evening. Then on Day Two, after I rolled into camp after getting a flat a half mile before finishing, Adam overheard me telling the story to Eric. He offered some kind words - calming thoughts - and it was then I really took a liking to him. Even more than the previous night when his towel fell off to expose his cute bum. We did chance upon each other now and again during the week - but not as often as I would've liked since Eric and I began camping "off-grid" the next night. These are some of the many I wish I'd gotten to know better during the week. Just two of the 2,203 Riders and 552 Roadies I wanted to have around me for more than a week. But oh so very grateful I had even just a few moments with their bright souls.

As Erik said, wearing a red dress isn't at all emasculating.
I also learned it's not a proven method
to make you pretty either ;)

I'm realizing this blog could go on for days. I could share the story of Nora, who I met early on in the ride and who stopped to help me - even when I didn't need help - when I got that flat on Day Two. Or of Charlie & Ada who I first met on Day Two and bumped into again and again during the week. They were friends, and teammates, with Michael - another rider I donated to and was fortunate enough to meet during the week. There's Jordan, who I love and had met during training. We shared a few fun moments along the route. And Jen, a Roadie, who I first met when riding from San Francisco to Fairfax back in February. The Hooligans from San Diego. Shelley, one of my faves from Long Beach. Paul who loaned me his bike for a training ride when I was visiting San Francisco. Eric, another Cyclist Rep who hugged me during the candlelight vigil. Greg, the Director of ALC, who stopped for a chat with me a few times during the week. Troy, who I saw at Rest Stop Two day and day again, whose sexiness came through not just in his smile - but in his intellect (ok, ALC Crush #3). My team - oh man - my team - all the inspiration and motivation and faith and love and belief in the cause they gave me. Had a couple of amazing one-to-one moments with Molly. Tons of bear hugs from Dan. Riding with Randy & Jeremy. Getting silly with Paul & Erik & Jose & Duke & Derek & Jonathan in our red dresses. And can't forget my Vegas peeps - Aaron & Van & Tara - who joined me to train at moments I felt most alone. The woman who hugged me on Day Four while we were waiting in line for the porta-potties. Or Jim who took some video of me with his GoPro camera. And Eric... my friend, my tentmate, and the guy who listened to my joys & complaints at the end of each day. Team Popular. Team Unpopular. Team B-List (just popular enough). Team Mary. Team Dilly-Dally.  James McCaleb, my first Cyclist Rep. The townsfolk who greeted us around every corner. Chicken Lady. Condom Man. Anyone holding a Red Vine out to me... or a strawberry... or a cookie. Seriously, this blog couldn't handle all I could write about the people involved in this event.

And so I end this with more than fond memories. On the day I returned to the "real world" I realized it didn't have to end. AIDS/LifeCycle was a moment in time. A journey made by a few thousand people that brought us to a common understanding. One that, looking at our lives, isn't much different than our day-to-day. You see, we're all in this together. All seven billion of us. We've only got each other to look out for ourselves. This life we live is an adventure together - one to be shared and cherished and celebrated. And even a simple hello. Or a quick chat with the woman sitting next to you on the bus. A wave to say good morning, A couple minutes sharing your day with the Starbucks barista. They bring love into the world. And that love carries on to others. None of us are too busy for that. And none of us are alone.

None of us.

Make someone smile today. Bring a stranger into your life, if only for a moment. You may cross paths again. And they'll remember you fondly. Or maybe you won't ever meet again. And they'll still remember you fondly. I experienced seven days of pure bliss. Joy. Love. We call it the Love Bubble like it's something unique to ALC. But it's not. The Love Bubble is everywhere. We just need to make it happen. We live in it every day. We determine how strong - or weak - it is. It's up to each of us to keep it full and bright. So what will you do to contribute to it each and every day?